


the mighty discord!

by fawnwrites



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack Treated Seriously, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, fic has been retagged for accuracys sake, serious stuff tries to happen and then devolves into memes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2020-05-19 06:29:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19351375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fawnwrites/pseuds/fawnwrites
Summary: an inside joke with a friend that (d)evolved into thisthey're all dumb teens with a discord server. no i dont have a plot for this and i never willupdates very sporadically (sorry y'all)chapter summary & content warnings are posted at the beginning of each chapter-- discontinued; see last chapter for detail





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> chapter summary: an introduction to this chaos. (fjord voice) i dont know whats going on but i love jester  
> content warnings: N/A

(Today at 7:56 PM)

⇾ **loliplop** added **NOT in a cult** to the group.

⇾ **loliplop** added **sokka socks man** to the group.

**NOT in a cult:** Jester? what’s going on

**sokka socks man:** waht the fck

**sokka socks man:** oh jes , hey

**NOT in a cult:** who are you? I’m Fjord.

**sokka socks man:** ayyye fjord

**sokka socks man:** i’m beau

**NOT in a cult:** oh, from school? I wonder if this is for our group project

**NOT in a cult:** Jester?

**loliplop:** GIMME ONE SEC

**NOT in a cult:** alright!

**sokka socks man:** hey nice username fjord

**sokka socks man:** why is their a rumor round school tht ur in a cult anyways

**NOT in a cult:** there* and I don’t think that’s a nice way to start a conversation

**sokka socks man:** ur th one who made it ur username dude

**NOT in a cult:** …

**NOT in a cult:** so Jester is this for the project?

(Today at 7:59 PM)

⇾ **loliplop** added **creeper? aw man** to the group.

**NOT in a cult:** ...guess not. hey there, who are you?

**creeper? aw man:** WHAT

**creeper? aw man:** jester what. is going on what

**loliplop:** YOU

**creeper? aw man:** ME

**NOT in a cult:** I’m confused

**loliplop:** FJORD BEAU THIS IS THAT GIRL!!!!!!!

**sokka socks man:** ima need u 2 be a lil more specific chief

**loliplop:** from a few weeks back remmeber!!!!!

**NOT in a cult:** uh, no?

**sokka socks man:** bold of u to assume i have a memory

**creeper? aw man:** aw u all already forgot abt me...

**creeper? aw man:** :(

**loliplop:** ok ok this is nott remember her NOW? !!!

**NOT in a cult:** oh yeah I do!!

**sokka socks man:** WHAT

**sokka socks man:** THAT GIRL WHO BROKE THE VENDING MACHINE/?

**NOT in a cult:** well yes but Nott was also supposed to work in our group but the teacher moved her into a group by herself for “medical reasons”

**creeper? aw man:** wtf did mrs yorda actually say that

**sokka socks man:** DUDE WHAT THE FUCK

**sokka socks man:** YOU FUCKING OWE ME 2 DOLLARS

**NOT in a cult:** she did. I thought it was shitty at the time but I didn’t say anything

**creeper? aw man:** why do i owe u $2???

**sokka socks man:** I TRIED TO USE THE FUCKING VENDING MACHINE AFTER U BROKE IT

**sokka socks man:** I LOST MY GOD DAMN MONEY!!!!!!

**creeper? aw man:** hey man… you win some u lose some :/

**sokka socks man:** FUCK YOU.

**loliplop:** guys guys GUUUUUYYYYSSSS theres a POINT to this chat

**loliplop:** after nott left our project i talked to her one on one and she is REALLLLLY cool!!!!

**creeper? aw man:** awh ty :3

**loliplop:** i wanted u all to meet

**loliplop:** so we can all become friends :D!!!!!!

**NOT in a cult:** oh Jes that sounds really nice!

**sokka socks man:** couldn’t have given us a warning before u added us?

**sokka socks man:** like mayb i dont wanna be in a group chat. yknow

**loliplop:** oh youre right :( im sorry beau u can leave if u want too!!

(Today at 8:10 PM)

**loliplop:** beau??

**sokka socks man:** sorry

**creeper? aw man:** we were all waiting for u to reply jdkfnhdjkfnhjdfnh

**sokka socks man:** no ill stay

**loliplop:** :D!!!! awesome!!!!

**NOT in a cult:** I’m cool with this! it’s really sweet that you want us all to meet

**NOT in a cult:** but we do _also_ need to get our project done guys

**loliplop:** I CAN MAKE A GROUP FOR THAT TOO!!!!

**NOT in a cult:** sure, Jes! that’d be really nice of you.

**sokka socks man:** haha gay

**sokka socks man:** wait straight ig

**creeper? aw man:** no this is gay

**NOT in a cult:** what is?

**loliplop:** BTW IF ANY OF U WANT TO ADD ANY FRIENDS U CAN

**creeper? aw man:** oh shit is it cool if i add some1 then?

**creeper? aw man:** hes like my best friend, real cool, prolly wont say much tho

**loliplop:** :O!!! mhm, do it!!!!

**creeper? aw man:** awesome lemme ask him if he wants to join !

-

(DIRECT MESSAGE: Holzkohle  
Today at 8:16 PM)

**creeper? aw man:** hey caleb

**creeper? aw man:** do you wanna join a group chat some sorta friends of mine made?

**creeper? aw man:** its just for meeting new ppl and stuff

**creeper? aw man:** it seems nice

(Today at 9:00 PM)

**creeper? aw man:** i’ll let you think abt it. love you


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter summary: Damn Caleb U Good?  
> content warnings: N/A
> 
> yea im back, literallly less than 24 hours later. what of it. enjoy

(Yesterday at 9:00 PM)

 **creeper? aw man:** i’ll let you think abt it. love you

\- 

(Today at 10:30 AM)

 **Holzkohle:** Hey.

 **Holzkohle:** Sorry I didn’t respond

 **Holzkohle:** Ja I think I’ll join

 **creeper? aw man:** hey its cool! alright i’ll add u

 **Holzkohle:** Ok

 **Holzkohle:** Wait

 **Holzkohle:** Who is in it? Anybody you have told me about?

 **creeper? aw man:** uhh

 **creeper? aw man:** did i tell u about jester?

 **creeper? aw man:** shes a real nice girl w/ freckles and curly hair

 **Holzkohle:** I think so.

 **Holzkohle:** She’s a new friend of yours

 **creeper? aw man:** mhm!! shes the one who made the chat actually

 **Holzkohle:** Ok

 **Holzkohle:** yeah I’ll join

 **creeper? aw man:** nice!!

-

(Today at 10:37 AM)

⇾ **creeper? aw man** added **Holzkohle** to the group.

 **Holzkohle:** Hallo

 **Holzkohle:** Guten Tag

 **sokka socks man:** whwhwhwhwh who

 **Holzkohle:** That was German

 **Holzkohle:** I said “hello, good day.”

 **sokka socks man:** oh cool who tf r u

 **NOT in a cult:** Beau, you should be paying attention.

 **NOT in a cult:** hello whoever you are, we’re in school rn

 **sokka socks man:** “u should b paying attention” tf are you doing then fjord

 **NOT in a cult:** checking my phone b/c I suddenly started getting notifications

 **creeper? aw man:** it says youve been online for a half hour

 **NOT in a cult:** … maybe so.

 **NOT in a cult:** well, who are you, new person?

 **creeper? aw man:** this was the friend i wanted to add!

 **Holzkohle:** Hello. My name is Caleb

 **NOT in a cult:** it’s nice to meet you!

 **NOT in a cult:** just wait 'till Jester gets on and sees you, heh

 **Holzkohle:** Why?

 **sokka socks man:** fjord im srry man but just. u, saying “heh” has big kek energy

 **NOT in a cult:** she’s very excitable is all

 **NOT in a cult:** sweet gal!

 **NOT in a cult:** just… you’ll see

 **creeper? aw man:** beaus right fjord im so sorry

 **NOT in a cult:** _heh_

 **Holzkohle:** I scrolled up to read.

 **Holzkohle:** Is she **@loliplop** ?

 **Holzkohle:** She seems very…

 **sokka socks man:** uve been typing for like 2 minutes. if u insult heri will beat u up

 **sokka socks man:** wait do u live near here

 **sokka socks man:** i will manifest in ur fucking house

 **sokka socks man:** and eat

 **sokka socks man:** ur fucking

 **sokka socks man:** SHINS

 **Holzkohle:** I mean I don't know her, but Nott told me about her. She sounds nice

 **Holzkohle:** Very friendly

 **Holzkohle:** Sorry if my slow typing bothers you. I am still learning English

 **sokka socks man:** ohfuck. im sorry i didnt mean t o insult ur english ur good

 **Holzkohle:** It is ok

 **creeper? aw man:** no hard feelings !

 **NOT in a cult:** hey it’s almost time for lunch. Beau you meeting me and Jester in the library?

 **NOT in a cult:** Jester says hi btw. and that she’ll greet Caleb properly later. her phone is dead

 **Holzkohle:** Hallo Jester

 **Holzkohle:** Tell her I said that. And that I’m looking forward to meeting her

 **sokka socks man:** yea i’ll b there fjord

 **sokka socks man:** see u losers later gotta go study w the lovebirds

 **NOT in a cult:** what?

 **Holzkohle:** Goodbye

-

(DIRECT MESSAGE: Holzkohle  
Today at 10:55 AM)

 **creeper? aw man:** hey r u ok?

 **Holzkohle:** yes?

 **creeper? aw man:** ok just

 **creeper? aw man:** you lied to beau

 **creeper? aw man:** u said you were still learning english

 **Holzkohle:** Ja I did

 **creeper? aw man:** ur fluent tho

 **creeper? aw man:** ??

 **creeper? aw man:** just wanna make sure ur not like, uncomfy

 **Holzkohle:** Well, I am not sure what I feel.

 **Holzkohle:** Making friends is hard

 **Holzkohle:** it is easier if I have an excuse not to reply quickly

 **creeper? aw man:** … ok

 **creeper? aw man:** im okay with that, as long as ur safe

 **Holzkohle:** I am. Do not worry little friend

 **creeper? aw man:** heyyy i’m not little

 **Holzkohle:** You are a whole foot shorter than me, I’d consider that little

 **creeper? aw man:** :(

 **Holzkohle:** You are practically a hobbit

 **creeper? aw man:** this is bullyiiinngggg :( :(

 **Holzkohle:** Yes it is. I am now a bully

 **creeper? aw man:** can’t believe this…. Friendship over....

 **creeper? aw man:** hey i gtg but ily, stay safe

 **Holzkohle:** I will. You stay safe too, hobbit.

 **creeper? aw man:** damnit


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter summary: beau is awkward. the gang discuss having pets  
> chapter warnings: N/A
> 
> hi i didnt have any motivation for a week and most of the reason why was bc i didnt want to have to figure out how to describe the pics they send. ily all hope u enjoy

(Today at 11:12 AM)

 **NOT in a cult:** HEEYYYY GUYS

 **NOT in a cult:** HALLO……………..

 **creeper? aw man:** w

 **creeper? aw man:** fjord?

 **sokka socks man:** jes is using his phone

 **NOT in a cult:** NO ITSA ME JESTER

 **creeper? aw man:** ah

 **creeper? aw man:** hey!!

 **NOT in a cult:** we are busy doing WORK BUT I wanted 2 say hi to caleb!!!!!!!!

 **NOT in a cult:** CALEBB do u live in a diff timezone :O??

 **creeper? aw man:** he doesnt usually have discord up so i’ll answer for him

 **creeper? aw man:** not only is he in a different timezone hes not in america!

 **NOT in a cult:** :O!!!!!! where does he live?

 **creeper? aw man:** germany!

 **sokka socks man:** give us his address if ur not a coward

 **sokka socks man:** i said i would manifest in his house and eat his shins

 **sokka socks man:** and i am a woman of my word

 **creeper? aw man:** i would prefer it if u didnt vore my bff

 **NOT in a cult:** GERMANY……………………………….

 **sokka socks man:** you literally cant stop me nott

 **creeper? aw man:** :(

 **NOT in a cult:** germany……………… TRHATS REALLY COOL. epic. we get the Foreign Perspective now . ok im gonna send some questions caleb can answer once he gets back cuz i wanna LEARN abt him

 **NOT in a cult:** any1 else can answer too!!!!!

 **NOT in a cult:** **@Holzkohle** are u a cat person or a dog person? do you like the beach? cupcakes or cake? whats ur fave and least fave school subjects? these r important questions

 **creeper? aw man:** owo

 **NOT in a cult:** personally i’m a dog person and i LOVE the beach. i CANNOT pick a dessert but for the sake of The Quiz i shall say, cupcakes. I LOVE ART AND HATE HISTORY. OHGOHOGHGMH

 **NOT in a cult:** foh god send help guys im being ATTACKED F

 **creeper? aw man:** ??

 **sokka socks man:** hnJDFNHKDFH

 **creeper? aw man:** whh???

 **sokka socks man:** fjord looked up at the clock and snatched his phone back

 **sokka socks man:** oh my godddd

 **NOT in a cult:** this is Fjord.

 **NOT in a cult:** Beau we need to do our project

 **sokka socks man:** you kepe saying that and then we keep not working

 **NOT in a cult:** _this is due in two days we have 8 minutes left in study hall_

 **NOT in a cult:** we can chat later

 **sokka socks man:** lmao ok

-

(DIRECT MESSAGE: creeper? aw man  
Today at 11:15 AM)

 **sokka socks man:** dude im like

 **sokka socks man:** losingmy fucking shit over here

 **sokka socks man:** godd

 **creeper? aw man:** ?? whats happening

 **sokka socks man:** ok so

 **sokka socks man:** jester is on fjords phone right

 **creeper? aw man:** yea??

( **sokka socks man** sent **image0.png**

image description: Jester and Fjord sitting on the ground in a school library. Fjord is a muscular, but skinny, teen with faint scars on his face, dull green eyes, and warm, beige skin. His hair - buzzed down at the sides and scruffy on top - is black, with pale gray flecks in it. Jester is chubby, with skin just noticeably darker than Fjord’s, covered in freckles. Her eyes are blue, and her hair is thick, brown, and curly.

Jester’s head is on Fjord’s lap, and his phone is in her hands. One of Fjord’s hands is in Jester’s hair, as if playing with it, and his other hand is holding up a paper, which he’s reading off of.

/end ID)

 **sokka socks man:** so . apparently this is Totally Platonic Action right here

 **creeper? aw man:** im…………..

 **creeper? aw man:** its like.

 **creeper? aw man:** i mean,

 **sokka socks man:** When. will they date

 **creeper? aw man:** one time jester messaged me just to talk abt how hot fjord is

 **sokka socks man:** WHAT

 **creeper? aw man:** LIKE SHE DIDNT EXPLICITLY SAY HOT BUT THAT WAS THE CONVO P MUCH

 **sokka socks man:** oh my GOD

 **creeper? aw man:** yknow tho they’re

 **creeper? aw man:** rlly cute!

 **creeper? aw man:** nd im happy for them!!

 **sokka socks man:** yea totally

 **sokka socks man:** dating or not its nice they have this relationship

 **sokka socks man:** fjord wants to know what im doign hold on

 **creeper? aw man:** beau have you helped them with the project at all

 **sokka socks man:** no,

 **sokka socks man:** ill help now ok i promise i just had to msg someone first cuz im losing it

-

(Today at 5:43 PM)

 **Holzkohle:** Oh that is a lot of messages

 **Holzkohle:** Hello Jester

 **Holzkohle:** To answer your questions

 **Holzkohle:** 1) I am a cat person. I have a cat named Frumpkin, 2) I’ve never been to the beach, but I do like swimming?, 3) I prefer cupcakes, 4) We don’t have classes here like you do in America

 **Holzkohle:** I am in Berufsschule, which is a kind of German school meant for students specializing in a specific field of work

 **Holzkohle:** I enjoy my foreign language class

 **sokka socks man:** yo that actually sounds p cool

 **sokka socks man:** oh are other ppl supposed to do jes’ questionnaire thingy too

 **sokka socks man:** m a cat person, never been to the beach, cake, i hate school

 **sokka socks man:** ig i like gym sometimes

 **creeper? aw man:** jock

 **sokka socks man:** maybe so

 **loliplop:** CALEBBB

 **loliplop:** THATS COOL….. The Foreign Experience….

 **loliplop:** i cant believe uve never been to the beach tho

 **loliplop:** both u and beau!!!

 **loliplop:** beau the beach is less than an hour away from us???

 **sokka socks man:** well yea

 **sokka socks man:** my family doesnt rlly vacation or anything

 **Holzkohle:** There are no beaches near me. I am very inland

 **Holzkohle:** And I don’t really vacation

 **sokka socks man:** dont worry man the beach is going 2 come to u

 **Holzkohle:** What?

 **sokka socks man:** like

 **sokka socks man:** cause the oceans are rising

 **Holzkohle:** Ohh. True

 **loliplop:** GLOBAL WARMING IS REAL

 **loliplop:** DISMANTLE CAPITALISM 📌

📌 **creeper? aw man** pinned a message to the channel. _See all pins._

 **creeper? aw man:** i agree w jester

 **creeper? aw man:** hey caleb! you should send a pic of frumpkin

 **loliplop:** THAT WAS MY NEXT POINT

 **loliplop:** CALEB HAS A CAT

 **loliplop:** PLEASE SHOW US THE FRIEND

 **loliplop:** THE CHILD

 **loliplop:** THE MAN. THE MYTH. THE LEGEND

 **Holzkohle:** Ja ok

( **Holzkohle** sent **image1.png**

image description: A somewhat blurry photo of an orange tabby cat, laying on plain brown sheets. He’s looking up, just off to the side of the camera, as if at whoever is holding the phone.

/end ID)

 **sokka socks man:** NGH

 **sokka socks man:** oh fuck. oh fuck thats baby caleb

 **loliplop:** CALEB CALEB CALEB CALEB C

 **loliplop:** ❤❤💗💗💖💗💕💗💗💕❤💕💞💖💖❤💕💖💗💗💗 ❣❣❣❣❣❣❣❣❣

 **loliplop:** PLEASE give that litle man a kiss from me :O!!!!!!

 **sokka socks man:** bap his head for me

 **Holzkohle:** Frumpkin has been bapped and kissed

 **Holzkohle:** He says “mrph” !

 **loliplop:** caleb im gonna startfukcing sobbing oh my god. oh my god. fuck

 **sokka socks man:** words cannot express my love for this cat

 **creeper? aw man:** frumpkin is FRIEND

 **Holzkohle:** I am glad others love him as much as I do

 **Holzkohle:** He is my ESA

 **sokka socks man:** whats tha?

 **Holzkohle:** Emotional support animal

 **loliplop:** OGOHGH ESA R V GOOD

 **loliplop:** i have two (2) pets…… neither is an ESA but but but. Im have service dog

 **loliplop:** HIS NAME IS NUGGET.

 **Holzkohle:** Oh?

 **sokka socks man:** oh jes i didnt kno that, thats rlly cool

 **loliplop:** lemme send a pic of him……………………..

( **loliplop** sent **MYSON.png**

image description: An australian shepherd dog, looking to still be very young, with short fur. The majority of his body is black, with a fuzzy white belly and tan markings around his paws and face. He’s laying on his side on a carpeted ground, side-eyeing the camera. His mouth is open and his tongue is dangling out lazily; happily.

/end ID)

 **sokka socks man:** oh. MISTER pubby.

 **sokka socks man:** i love all of u guys pets

 **creeper? aw man:** oh my god thats a cute babby boy. hard working. deserving of love. thank you nugget for ur service

 **sokka socks man:** no cops at pride only nugget 📌

📌 **loliplop** pinned a message to the channel. _See all pins._

 **Holzkohle:** He is very cute

 **Holzkohle:** I am sure he does a very good job too

 **sokka socks man:** hey can i ask why u need a service dog?

 **NOT in a cult:** sorry to step in but its not nice to ask disabled people why they need a service dog

 **loliplop:** he helps me manage my autism!!!!

 **sokka socks man:** oh god yea that makes sense. sorry i wasnt thinking

 **loliplop:** what fjord said is true but i dont mind talking abt it!!!

 **loliplop:** he helps me when i have meltdowns and with my sensory issues and does all sorts of stuff!

 **sokka socks man:** that’s cool

 **sokka socks man:** !

 **loliplop:** :D!!

 **loliplop:** i also have a ferret….. his name is sprinkles and i LOVE HIM

 **creeper? aw man:** !!!

 **Holzkohle:** Your pets seem very cute

 **Holzkohle:** Thank you for sharing, Jester

 **loliplop:** :3 frumpkin is also v v cute!!!

 **Holzkohle:** Thanks

 **Holzkohle:** I told him you think hes cute. He meowed

 **Holzkohle:** He is thanking you back!

 **creeper? aw man:** Good.

 **creeper? aw man:** holdon we have like 7 cats im gonna go take a pic of myself sitting with all of them

 **loliplop:** SEVEN WHOLE BABIES??????????

 **Holzkohle:** Her cats are very cute!

 **sokka socks man:** all these babies are making me hungry

 **Holzkohle:** Wh

 **Holzkohle:** What

 **loliplop:** beau pls dont vore my dog

 **sokka socks man:** ok i actually have no idea what i was trying to say there.

 **sokka socks man:** my dad just made dinner so i gtg thats what i meant

 **sokka socks man:** bye have fun talknig abt ur pets

 **loliplop:** jknghkjnJKNDFKJHNSJEKHJGFH

 **loliplop:** bye!!!

 **Holzkohle:** Bye Beau

 **Holzkohle:** You very strange girl

 **sokka socks man:** ya thats me baby

 **sokka socks man:** bye bitches


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter summary: The Gang Discuss Furries, Fjord Owns A Rat  
> chapter warnings: N/A
> 
> i SWEAR im a writer who writes things consistently at good times guys

(DIRECT MESSAGE: sokka socks man  
Today at 8:00 PM)

 **loliplop:** dude . . .

 **loliplop:** can i invite ur girlfriend and her bro to the chat???

 **sokka socks man:** um

 **sokka socks man:** i mean sure? idk why ur asking me permission

 **sokka socks man:** their ur friends too

 **loliplop:** UH GOOD POINT

 **loliplop:** i just meant cuz yknowww ur closer to them!!

 **sokka socks man:** oh fair

 **sokka socks man:** i think molly would love everyone

 **sokka socks man:** yasha is chill. she doesnt like groups same as me but idk

 **loliplop:** sooooo i can add them :D?

 **sokka socks man:** tell them ur adding em first

 **sokka socks man:** but go for it

 **loliplop:** :3c

-

(Today at 8:10 PM)

⇾ **loliplop** added **yaasha🌹** to the group.

⇾ **loliplop** added **mr mime** to the group.

 **mr mime:** According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway. Because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible.” SEQ. 75 - “INTRO TO BARRY” INT. BENSON HOUSE - DAY ANGLE ON: Sneakers on the ground. Camera PANS UP to reveal BARRY BENSON’S BEDROOM ANGLE ON: Barry’s hand flipping through different sweaters in his closet. BARRY Yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black...oohh, black and yellow... ANGLE ON: Barry wearing the sweater he picked, looking in the mirror. BARRY (CONT’D) Yeah, let’s shake it up a little. He picks the black and yellow one. He then goes to the sink, takes the top off a CONTAINER OF HONEY, and puts some honey into his hair. He squirts some in his mouth and gargles. Then he takes the lid off the bottle, and rolls some on like deodorant. CUT TO: INT. BENSON HOUSE KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS Barry’s mother, JANET BENSON, yells up at Barry. JANET BENSON Barry, breakfast is ready! CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 1. INT. BARRY’S ROOM - CONTINUOUS BARRY Coming! SFX: Phone RINGING. Barry’s antennae vibrate as they RING like a phone. Barry’s hands are wet. He looks around for a towel. BARRY (CONT’D) Hang on a second! He wipes his hands on his sweater, and pulls his antennae down to his ear and mouth. BARRY (CONT'D) Hello? His best friend, ADAM FLAYMAN, is on the other end. ADAM Barry? BARRY Adam? ADAM Can you believe this is happening? BARRY Can’t believe it. I’ll pick you up. Barry sticks his stinger in a sharpener. SFX: BUZZING AS HIS STINGER IS SHARPENED. He tests the sharpness with his finger. SFX: Bing. BARRY (CONT’D) Looking sharp. ANGLE ON: Barry hovering down the hall, sliding down the staircase ban

 **loliplop:** hey everyone these r my frie

 **loliplop:** JKFNDHKJSNJKRTNHKNDSKFNJDFKHNJERH

 **loliplop:** MOLLY???

 **mr mime:** sorry guys went feral there for a second :/

 **yaasha🌹:** He has the entire script bookmarked.

 **yaasha🌹:** It’s the first thing he sends to every server he’s invited too.

 **mr mime:** ive got kicked out of a few for it too

 **loliplop:** JKNFGHKNDFHJKNJKHNRTH

 **creeper? aw man:** ok so,

 **creeper? aw man:** who the fuck, why the fuck, and

 **creeper? aw man:** big mood lmao

 **yaasha🌹:** Are intros required?

 **loliplop:** not, REQUIRED but u can if u want too!!!!!!

 **mr mime:** i don’t have to tell anyone my name except the police officer arresting me for breaking into mcdonalds

 **creeper? aw man:** w

 **yaasha🌹:** Yes that actually happened.

 **yaasha🌹:** I had to bail them out.

**creeper? aw man: WHDFHDHFGDFGHDFGH????**

**mr mime:** alright bitches

 **mr mime:** my names molly, any pronouns or you can just refer to me solely as That Bitch

 **mr mime:** when i was 9 i ran away and joined a circus and when i asked them for my clown makeup they gave me a mirror

 **mr mime:** i like long walks on the beach and being a ho

 **mr mime:** any questions?

 **creeper? aw man:** yes actually

 **mr mime:** ok cool anyways meet my sister yasha she’s a lesbian

 **yaasha🌹:** Hi

 **yaasha🌹:** I’m the lesbian they mentioned

 **yaasha🌹:** I’m dating Beau, actually

 **creeper? aw man:** BEAU HAS A GIRLFRIEND????

 **sokka socks man:** lmao yea?

 **creeper? aw man:** i just

 **creeper? aw man:** like no offence but uve always struck me as a Lone Wolf

 **sokka socks man:** oh i am

 **sokka socks man:** but im a lone wolf… with yasha

 **yaasha🌹:** Two-man pack.

 **yaasha🌹:** Two… two girl pack.

 **yaasha🌹:** Wait b, babe

 **sokka socks man:** yeah babe?

 **yaasha🌹:** If we’re a wolf pack are we furries

 **sokka socks man:** …

 **mr mime:** yasha WILL be a furry im converting her

 **yaasha🌹:** No, you’re not

 **sokka socks man:** i mean furries r pretty cool we could b furries

 **mr mime:** yes i AM yasha heres my proof

 **mr mime:** yashas picked an animal to be her fursona

 **yaasha🌹:** You pressured me into picking one!!

 **sokka socks man:** oh???

 **mr mime:** i gotta say, its _adorable_

 **creeper? aw man:** i wanna know yashas fursona

 **yaasha🌹:** I dont have a _fursona_

 **yaasha🌹:** I just picked an animal that _would_ be the base of my fursona _if I had one,_ yknow?

 **creeper? aw man:** no i dont

 **creeper? aw man:** pft

 **Holzkohle:** Nott and I have also done that.

 **creeper? aw man:** WHAT

 **creeper? aw man:** WHY WOULDYOU JUST TELL THEM THIS CALEBB

 **mr mime:** oh??? Ohh???? the plot THICKENS??

 **Holzkohle:** There is nothing embarrassing about enjoying anthropomorphized creatures

 **Holzkohle:** I do not understand what’s so funny about all this?

 **loliplop:** yknow what. caleb is RIGHT

 **loliplop:** furries r perfectly valid and just because theres a small portion of toxic furries doesnt mean the rest of the community deserves shame or embarrassment merely for having at most a hobby and at least an interest

 **creeper? aw man:** oh… good point jess

 **Holzkohle:** Honestly that is the most intellectual thing you have said so far

 **loliplop:** FURRY RIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Holzkohle:** Furry rights, indeed

 **mr mime:** *wipes away a tear* this is the best fucking server ever

 **mr mime:** so yashh can i tell them what animal youd be?

 **yaasha🌹:** .

 **Holzkohle:** What if we all went around and said what animal we’d be?

 **sokka socks man:** im cool w that

 **sokka socks man:** cmon babe make a fursona w me

 **yaasha🌹:** Alright alright

 **yaasha🌹:** It’s a panda.

 **loliplop:** :O

 **sokka socks man:** BABE….. that is so fucking CUTE fuuuucckkk!!!!!

 **yaasha🌹:** I’m glad you think so :”3

 **yaasha🌹:** How about you…?

 **sokka socks man:** hmmm

 **sokka socks man:** id b a dog

 **sokka socks man:** a german shepherd maybe?

 **mr mime:** haha gay

 **sokka socks man:** no you

 **sokka socks man:** what would YOU be

 **mr mime:** a peacock

 **creeper? aw man:** that does not surprise me in the slightest

 **mr mime:** :3c

 **mr mime:** how about you, huh?

 **creeper? aw man:** sighs,

 **creeper? aw man:** i think i would be a crow

 **loliplop:** id be a BUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **mr mime:** *nods*

 **Holzkohle:** And I would be a cat

 **Holzkohle:** Specifically, a domestic cat. Even more specifically, a birman cat.

 **loliplop:** guys… this convo…. is so goode…. i love u all

 **sokka socks man:** mollys been in this server for less than an hour and we’re talking about furries

 **mr mime:** my work here is done

 **NOT in a cult:** poppin in to say: Id be a rat

 **NOT in a cult:** and also I agree. furry rights

 **creeper? aw man:** wait why are you a rat

 **creeper? aw man:** cuz ur smelly and live in sewers and people dont like u?

 **NOT in a cult:** well

 **NOT in a cult:** ...sure.

-

(DIRECT MESSAGE: NOT in a cult  
Today at 8:45 PM)

 **loliplop:** i know why youre a rat

 **loliplop:** cuz even if ppl dont like you, its just cuz they dont know you

 **loliplop:** havent seen how adorable you are,, how good nd kind and brave

 **loliplop:** just like rats

 **loliplop:** who are great and nice and make good pets

 **loliplop:** and deserve love :D!

 **NOT in a cult:** … thanks, jester.

 **NOT in a cult:** an odd compliment but... I'll take it 

**loliplop:** mhm!!!!!

 **loliplop:** give ur rat a goodnight kiss for me ok?

 **NOT in a cult:** of course


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter summary: rat king  
> chapter warnings: N/A
> 
> a short chapter but i wanted to put this out nd then start focusing some chapters on plot things that actually relate back to the series itself !! hehe hoho

(Today at 9:00 PM)

**mr mime:** oh? oh rat king?

**NOT in a cult:** … sorry what?

**mr mime:** rat king?? youre the rat king???

**mr mime:** king of rats???

**loliplop:** oh my god.

**loliplop:** FJORD IS THE RAT KING.

**mr mime:** all hail the rat king!

**NOT in a cult:** what is going on rn

**loliplop:** u are,

**loliplop:** THE RAT KING!!!!!!!!

**NOT in a cult:** ah

**NOT in a cult:** makes sense

**mr mime:** hold on give me one moment

**yaasha🌹:** Rat king.

( **mr mime** sent **[ratking.png](https://i.imgflip.com/3akisy.jpg)** )

**loliplop:** OHGOHOGHOGOHFOGHFMGH

**creeper? aw man:** oh fuck rat bking

**NOT in a cult:** I still don’t _really_ know what's going on,

**NOT in a cult:** but I accept my role as rat king.

**NOT in a cult:** one moment

**loliplop:** oh ho ho??

**rat king:** there we go

**loliplop:** OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**mr mime:** i have started MOVEMENT, a REVOLUTION

**mr mime:** THE RAT REVOLUTION

**loliplop:** LONG LIVE THE RAT KING!

**rat king:** ok well

**rat king:** I guess now I need to send a picture of my rat huh

**mr mime:** THE RAT KING HAS ROYAL SUBJECTS

**creeper? aw man:** you keep rats ?

**rat king:** yeah, nott

**rat king:** they’re really comforting to me.

**mr mime:** BRING FORTH YOUR SUBJECTS, RAT KING FJORD

**creeper? aw man:** oh

**rat king:** here we go :)

( **rat king** sent **image0.png**

image description: Fjord’s hand, holding up a rat so it faces the camera. It’a a mottled brown-and-white, sniffing curiously, with sparkling, beady eyes.

/end ID)

**loliplop:** THE LITTLE MAN HIMSELF.

**mr mime:** EXCELLENT

**Holzkohle:** He’s very cute! It’s good you have something like that which makes you happy

**rat king:** thank you, caleb !

-

(DIRECT MESSAGE: rat king  
Today at 9:12 PM)

**creeper? aw man:** hey i’m sorry if i hurt you when i was making fun of rats before

**creeper? aw man:** i didnt realize u liked them

**creeper? aw man:** like i thought you were joking around too? sorry, though

**rat king:** it’s alright. I appreciate you apologizing.

**creeper? aw man:** i dont really like rats myself but its valid if you do

**rat king:** mhm

**rat king:** you’re valid too

**creeper? aw man:** :3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter summary: this wasn't supposed to be as shitpost-y as it was but lets be honest these fuckers cope with trauma by laughing hysterically anyways . also RIP rabb.it  
> chapter warnings: briefly referenced death
> 
> just so everyone knows: no im not gonna go into detail w/ molly and yasha's first guardian. i was having trouble translating the circus & gustav's situation into a modern setting & thought it'd be funny to leave it vague, absurd, and just oddly specific enough that the audience can connect it to the real timeline  
> this wasnt supposed to be another shitpost chapter but here we are lmao

(Today at 7:38 AM)

 **mr mime:** good morning gays and gayetts, how are we doing this fine day?

 **mr mime:** feeling good? doing well? that’s great

 **mr mime:** my father is in prison

**loliplop: MOLLY??**

**mr mime:** well me and yasha’s father. he’s her father too

 **mr mime:** yeah long story short he got framed for murder

 **loliplop: _MOLLY??????????_**

**creeper? aw man:** haha hey molly? **_what?_**

 **mr mime:** would you believe me if i said it involves a clown and 300 toads?

 **loliplop: @yaasha🌹** _HELLO??_

 **yaasha🌹:** Sigh

 **yaasha🌹:** Yes they’re telling the truth

 **yaasha🌹:** Yes it involves a clown and 300 toads

 **yaasha🌹:** I’m busy packing some of our stuff up, ask Molly your questions alright?

**creeper? aw man: I HAVE SO MANY WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO START**

**mr mime:** since gustav’s in jail we have to leave now. we’re going to a different family :/

 **mr mime:** wait i should prolly also specify me nd yasha are in foster care and gustav was our foster dad

 **sokka socks man:** btw ik more details so if molly is being rlly vague nd annoying u can ask me yasha told me abt it last night

 **creeper? aw man:** wait this all happened last night? last night last night? last night when we were talking about rat king fjord? that last night?

 **mr mime:** actually it happened at 11 pm so after we talked about rat king fjord

 **loliplop:** molly i. i am losing my MIND right now???? i dont want to say this sounds funny but also it sounds HILARIOUS??

 **mr mime:** in the moment it was horrific and i am definitely deeply mentally disturbed but in retrospect? yeah it was funny as fuck

 **creeper? aw man:** are you. going to explain,

 **mr mime:** jokes aside idk if im comfortable going into detail rn

 **mr mime:** the reason i brought it up here actually is b/c now that me and yasha are gonna need a new foster family i thought maybe we could make a separate chat

 **mr mime:** if any of u guys have been in the foster system or are adopted or anything

 **mr mime:** then we can bond over our weird family trauma

 **mr mime:** anyone in?

 **loliplop:** hey its rlly valid that u dont wanna talk abt it and i support u very much!!!

 **sokka socks man:** ^^ yasha gave me the OK to tell ppl but i wont go into detail if u dont want me too ok?

 **mr mime:** nah go for it

 **mr mime:** just not w/ me around if thts chill

 **sokka socks man:** yeye course man

 **creeper? aw man:** hell yeah id love to join the Sad Kid Clubhouse

 **sokka socks man:** its like the mcdonalds play area but when u walk in ur parents leave forever📌

📌 **creeper? aw man** pinned a message to the channel. See all pins.

 **creeper? aw man:** FJSNSNSJSSNNX

 **mr mime:** SDKSLKMCJOISDFOJIGWDFIJVEJIFDIGSJDFIGWJGWDGKJ

 **loliplop:** LFGHSDLFKJGHSLDKJFG

 **mr mime:** perfect. ingenious. thank you for your contribution.

-

(Today at 8:11 AM)

⇾ **mr mime** added **yaasha🌹** to the group.

⇾ **mr mime** added **creeper? aw man** to the group.

 **mr mime** changed the channel name: **Sad Kid Clubhouse**

 **creeper? aw man:** whats up, thots

 **mr mime:** (bugs bunny voice)

 **creeper? aw man:** exactly this gender-ambiguous clown gets me

 **mr mime:** “gender-ambiguous clown” is so fucking funny, thank you

 **creeper? aw man:** fjnsksknx

 **creeper? aw man:** do you guys know where ur going now?

 **mr mime:** uhhh idk actually

 **yaasha🌹:** We’re temporarily staying with someone who’s last name is Alfield. Honestly, can’t remember their first name

 **mr mime:** OH I REMEMBER NOW TY

 **mr mime:** their first name is bryce!!!

 **mr mime:** they’re nonbinary! like publicly out!

 **creeper? aw man:** !!! shit dude nice!!

 **creeper? aw man:** but bryce alfield is a weird name

 **mr mime:** ok “nott”

 **creeper? aw man:** :( but also fair

 **yaasha🌹:** I mean. My name is Yasha. Molly’s full name is Mollymauk. People have weird names sometimes

**creeper? aw man: YOUR FULL NAME IS MOLLYMAUK?**

**mr mime:** yasha how dare you out me like this

 **creeper? aw man: THATS WEIRDER THAN THE MURDER INVOLVING 300 TOADS**

**mr mime:** _yknow i dont see how, NOTT_

 **creeper? aw man:** how?? is that even?? Pronounced

 **mr mime:** like molly-mock

 **mr mime:** mock like how youre BULLYING ME IN MY OWN SERVER :( :(

 **creeper? aw man:** fkNKSDKSHJFGHKSKSKHJ

 **yaasha🌹:** I’m always up for bullying my sibling and I hate to interrupt but Molly, do you think you can come help me pack?

 **mr mime:** yeah man of course

 **yaasha🌹:** Ty

 **creeper? aw man:** ur both valid nd i wish you luck in ur Adventures in Foster Care

 **mr mime:** isn’t that a movie?

 **yaasha🌹:** Idk but there’s a movie called Adventures in Babysitting

 **creeper? aw man:** nods…

 **creeper? aw man:** lets get together nd watch it some day

 **creeper? aw man:** like on rabb.it

 **mr mime:** hell YEAH

 **mr mime:** ok talk to u later nott at some point uve gotta spill ur family trauma also

 **creeper? aw man:** fuck


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter summary: Shit Finally Happens  
> chapter warnings: n/a
> 
> ive had a fuckin TERRIBLE week so i decided to sit down and write a chapter in like an hour. this isnt peer-reviewed nor did i actually go back and edit so i apologize in advance but i think its alright  
> enjoy

(DIRECT MESSAGE: mr mime  
Today at 11:42 AM)

 **rat king:** yo

 **rat king:** do you think I could join the chat you made for everyone whos got, like, weird family situations?

 **mr mime:** but of course, your highness~

 **rat king:** what

 **rat king:** OH my name

 **rat king:** thank you, loyal subject

 **mr mime:** :3

-

(GROUP: Sad Kids Clubhouse  
Today at 11:45 AM)

⇾ **mr mime** added **rat king** to the group.

 **rat king:** happy Saturday y’all, sorry it started with you losing your foster dad

 **mr mime:** awfully blunt but i appreciate the sentiment

 **creeper? aw man:** fjord. you little man

 **rat king:** excuse you I am not a little man. I am a rat

 **mr mime:** the KING of rats

 **creeper? aw man:** oh but of course

 **creeper? aw man:** i apologize for the disrespect, rat king

 **creeper? aw man:** hey this is unrelated but. how are you guys doing @ molly and yasha?

 **creeper? aw man:** i mean this is a lot to happen

 **yaasha🌹:** Oh, I’m alright.

 **yaasha🌹:** I’m used to being moved around, to be honest.

 **yaasha🌹:** I anticipated having to... move again.

 **yaasha🌹:** I’m happy I’m moving with Molly. I’d miss them a lot if we went to separate homes.

 **mr mime:** awwwwww, you DO have a heart

 **mr mime:** did you hear that everyone? she’d miss me

 **mr mime:** she _cares_ about me :)!

 **yaasha🌹:** Watch it Molly. I’m in the same room as you. I can and will throw a pillow at you.

 **mr mime:** is that a threat or a challenge?

 **rat king:** I’m sorry that you’re so used to having to move around, Yasha. I can relate (sort of) and it really does suck. I hope you can find a good permanent home soon.

 **yaasha🌹:** Thanks. I appreciate it.

 **mr mime:** as for me, i’m… idk ig

 **mr mime:** i’ve been with gustav as long as i can remember. he nursed me back to health after i was

 **mr mime:** let’s say sick.

 **mr mime:** i really care abt him yknow?

 **mr mime:** i’ll be ok

 **mr mime:** and i know i was kidding before abt yasha caring abt me but i’d. miss you too if we went separate ways

 **creeper? aw man:** nods. that’s rlly valid

 **creeper? aw man:** i hope you guys find a good home

 **yaasha🌹:** <3

 **mr mime:** blegh enough sappy shit

 **mr mime:** (tho i appreciate the opportunity to talk so ty for asking nott)

 **mr mime:** im gonna go take pictures of birds

 **rat king:** you’re gonna what?

 **mr mime:** oh its smth i do to help relax, honestly recommend it tbh

 **mr mime:** its silly but then again i am a clown

 **mr mime:** i just go around taking pictures of as many birds as i can. only keep the good photos. ones that arent blurry

 **mr mime:** i put them in a little book

 **creeper? aw man:** oh shit dude, have fun w that !!

 **creeper? aw man:** also thats not silly i have tons of obscure & specific hobbies tht help me calm down

 **creeper? aw man:** i like to make bead animals & collect seashells, for example

 **mr mime:** that is SO valid

 **rat king:** I don’t have many hobbies to be honest but I own a rat and an axolotl

 **rat king:** it’s relaxing to take care of them

 **yaasha🌹:** I like to exercise to get my stress out

 **mr mime:** jock

 **creeper? aw man:** you and beau truly were made for each other

 **yaasha🌹:** :)

 **yaasha🌹:** Oh, I also like to press flowers. I keep them in a journal kinda thing

 **yaasha🌹:** Where I like, draw and keep schedules and write about how I’m doing

 **creeper? aw man:** you didnt strike me as a gal with a secret diary

 **mr mime:** oh she’s super intimidating but a big softie

 **mr mime:** never let her convince you otherwise

 **yaasha🌹:** You’ve revealed my secret Molly :(

 **mr mime:** :3

-

(GROUP: loliplop, rat king, sokka socks man, creeper? aw man … and 3 others  
Today at 12:03 PM)

 **loliplop:** i have. DECIDED something

 **loliplop:** 1) we need to make this a server

 **loliplop:** 2) WE NEED 2 NAME IT!!!

 **loliplop:** becuz we are all friends now!!! we’re a Friend Group now.

 **loliplop:** the cool new clique in town.

 **loliplop:** towns plural

 **loliplop:** BUT MY POINT STANDS

 **creeper? aw man:** i agree!!!

 **sokka socks man:** do any of us kno anything abt coming up w a cool group name

 **loliplop:** UH,

 **mr mime:** coming up with a good name would require brain cells, my dearest beau

 **mr mime:** and you know we don’t have any of those

 **creeper? aw man:** we have exactly one and we have to share

 **creeper? aw man:** fjord has it rn

 **sokka socks man:** **@rat king** mom says its my turn on the brain cell

 **rat king:** :( but I just got it!

 **loliplop:** we don’t need brains to come up w a name!!!

 **loliplop:** cmon just spitball!!!!!

 **Holzkohle:** Mighty Nein.

 **creeper? aw man:** genius. legendary

 **sokka socks man:** what does tht have 2 do w any of us

 **Holzkohle:** Mighty because we’re all valid.

 **Holzkohle:** Nein because we’re all stupid

 **sokka socks man:** there arnt nine of us bro

 **creeper? aw man:** it means no in german, clown

 **loliplop:** YKNOW WHAT i like it caleb. lets go w that

 **mr mime:** a good Team Name will reveal itself with time

 **mr mime:** we must wait, and be patient

 **loliplop:**

(YOU RECEIVED AN [INVITE](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/533026491018117151/637053811105595393/YEAHH.png) TO JOIN A SERVER)

-

(SERVER: mighty nein  
CHANNEL: #general  
Today at 12:20 PM)

⇾ **rat king** just joined... or did they?

⇾ **mr mime** just showed up. Hold my beer.

⇾ A wild **creeper? aw man** appeared.

⇾ **sokka socks man** is here to kick butt and chew bubblegum. And **sokka socks man** is all out of gum.

⇾ Welcome, **Holzkohle**. Stay awhile and listen.

⇾ **Yaasha🌹** has joined the server! It's super effective!

 **loliplop:** WELCOME TO CHAOS


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter summary: molly is a cryptic creature  
> chapter warnings: n/a
> 
> hey y'all remember when i updated this? haha crazy times.  
> for real, i lost had motivation to write critical role content, which is why it hasnt updated. sorry!! on the bright side, im getting back in to writing for this, AND my winter break is coming up soon, so!! hopefully gonna churn out some Content.  
> i hope this chapter is Nice in the meantime!!

(SERVER: mighty nein  
CHANNEL: #general  
Today at 12:24 PM)

 **creeper? aw man:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_XGxzMrq04 

**mr mime:** OH YEEAAA BABY

**creeper? aw man: got my helmet on my head**

**Yaasha🌹:** Figure out what that zombie said

 **rat king:** _what?!_

 **Yaasha🌹:** (what?)

 **creeper? aw man:** lava all over the room, got a half heart left, mAN I AM DOOMED

 **mr mime:** wait 

**mr mime:** hold the PHONE

 **mr mime:** i forgot my time honored tradition with new servers

 **creeper? aw man:** oh no

 **mr mime:** According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway. Because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible.” SEQ. 75 - “INTRO TO BARRY” INT. BENSON HOUSE - DAY ANGLE ON: Sneakers on the ground. Camera PANS UP to reveal BARRY BENSON’S BEDROOM ANGLE ON: Barry’s hand flipping through different sweaters in his closet. BARRY Yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black...oohh, black and yellow... ANGLE ON: Barry wearing the sweater he picked, looking in the mirror. BARRY (CONT’D) Yeah, let’s shake it up a little. He picks the black and yellow one. He then goes to the sink, takes the top off a CONTAINER OF HONEY, and puts some honey into his hair. He squirts some in his mouth and gargles. Then he takes the lid off the bottle, and rolls some on like deodorant. CUT TO: INT. BENSON HOUSE KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS Barry’s mother, JANET BENSON, yells up at Barry. JANET BENSON Barry, breakfast is ready! CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 1. INT. BARRY’S ROOM - CONTINUOUS BARRY Coming! SFX: Phone RINGING. Barry’s antennae vibrate as they RING like a phone. Barry’s hands are wet. He looks around for a towel. BARRY (CONT’D) Hang on a second! He wipes his hands on his sweater, and pulls his antennae down to his ear and mouth. BARRY (CONT'D) Hello? His best friend, ADAM FLAYMAN, is on the other end. ADAM Barry? BARRY Adam? ADAM Can you believe this is happening? BARRY Can’t believe it. I’ll pick you up. Barry sticks his stinger in a sharpener. SFX: BUZZING AS HIS STINGER IS SHARPENED. He tests the sharpness with his finger. SFX: Bing. BARRY (CONT’D) Looking sharp. ANGLE ON: Barry hovering down the hall, sliding down the staircase ban

 **Holzkohle:** Oh boy

 **Yaasha🌹:** Hey guys, I’m gonna stay out of this chat for a while. Dealing with the change in homelife, you know? I’ll still take DMs and the ‘sad kids clubhouse.’

 **mr mime:** yash ily

 **loliplop:** ok yasha thats fine!!!! stay safe!!!!!!!!!

 **Holzkohle:** Stay safe ja?

 **creeper? aw man:** <3 <3 <3 good luck w/ the move

 **Yaasha🌹:** I will stay safe. Thank you.

 **rat king:** Molly are you gonna be off too?

 **mr mime:** nah i pretty much live on my laptop

 **mr mime:** plus drawing & browsing tiktok aimlessly help me Cope™

 **loliplop:** molly you draw :O???

 **mr mime:** i certainly try too!

 **mr mime:** ive been told everything i draw is super cursed and horrifying, though!

 **creeper? aw man:** very befitting of your personality

 **loliplop:** you gotta share ur art sometime

 **loliplop:** are there any other artists in the server??? i draw too!!!!

 **creeper? aw man:** uh i doodle while taking notes but im not a v good artist kjfnhjnfghnjjnfrh

 **sokka socks man:** im 2 busy kickim ass to “”draw”” som nerdy shit

 **rat king:** apparently, you’re too busy kicking ass to type, too

 **sokka socks man:** do NOT test me rat lord

 **sokka socks man:** im a fast typer you duck

 **mr mime:** duck

 **sokka socks man:** FUCK*

 **loliplop: GAYMERS!** this is an OPPRESSION FREE ZONE!! beau is not to be oppressed for her typing skills

 **sokka socks man:** thank you, jester

 **creeper? aw man:** beaus so much of a jock shed probably stuff me in a locker if we met in middle school

 **sokka socks man:** prolly accurate, i had SO mamy bad coping mechanisms for anger in middle school

 **mr mime:** id also push you in a locker, nott. not ‘cause of unchecked mental illness or anything. i just think it’d be funny

 **creeper? aw man:** SEE?

 **creeper? aw man:** she can bully me but i can’t oppress her??? what kind of logic is THAT

 **creeper? aw man:** molly kjdfnhkjnfdg???

 **loliplop:** beau is also not allowed to bully!!!!!!!!!!

 **sokka socks man:** damnit.

 **loliplop:** molly can’t either!

 **Holzkohle:** Sorry to interrupt this very strange conversation but Jester, do you think we could make a channel for sharing art? Seeing as there are a few artists in here.

 **Holzkohle:** I’m also an artist. I find it very relaxing to draw

 **loliplop:** oh ofc caleb!!!!!!! ty for the idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-

(SERVER: mighty nein  
CHANNEL: #art  
Today at 12:45 PM)

( **mr mime** sent **WELCOMETOHELL.png** 📌

image description: A blurry picture of a traditional drawing. The artwork is of Mike Wazowski from Monsters Inc. waving and smiling threateningly, done in pen and colored with blotchy acrylic paint.

/end ID)

 **creeper? aw man:** MOLLY WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

 **sokka socks man:** _Wghf_

 **mr mime:** like what you see :)?

 **sokka socks man:** _the people who call yr art cursed are RIGHT_

 **mr mime:** what can i say? i strive to remain On Brand

 **loliplop: HELLO??? HELLLOOOOO????????????**

📌 loliplop pinned a message to the channel. _See all pins._

 **loliplop:** i HATE it molly. thank you so much

 **mr mime:** :3c


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> press F in the chat gamers

[hey! so uh.

i feel really bad for doing this but also this unfinished work has been Haunting me for a long time lmao

i'm gonna have to put this fic on an indefinite hold. maybe circumstances will change and, someday, i'll pick it back up. but for right now, critical role is something i just can't write, for personal reasons i'd rather not share publicly. just know it pains me to do this and i wish i could continue, if only i were in a better headspace.

everyone who's been reading this: thank u for giving my work a try <3 . take care & stay safe]

**Author's Note:**

> find me @knife-enby on tumblr


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